- Sep 29, 2022
- 3 min read
Let's talk about what it means to be a mom in today's world. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, a full-time working mom, a part-time working mom, a stepmom, or a single mom, you are expected to wear so many hats. At times, being a mom can be the best hat and the worst hat to wear. And yet, we still continue to wear the hats of a daughter, sister, employee, chef, chauffeur, booboo healing nurse, planner, LEGO building engineer, artist, life coach, sports coach, photographer, and then, enter COVID-19, academic teacher too. Some hats are worn more often than others. There are times we get to take off a few and other times that we are wearing multiple at the same time. The feat sounds overwhelming, exhausting, and truthfully quite terrifying. But every day, as a mom, we do the impossible.
In the words of Tina Fey, "you go through big chunks of time where you're just thinking, "this is impossible-oh, this is impossible." and then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible."
So, today and tomorrow, we are going to go out and tackle another day of impossible. Here are a few tips on making the impossible feel a little more possible.
Keep in mind, transition is hard! Ease into it! - There is not always the option to ease into motherhood, so shift focus on anytime that you have to pause. Even if only for a few seconds, pause and breathe. Motherhood may not always look pretty. It may not always feel great. But focus on giving yourself grace because you keep showing up to try again every single day. If today feels overwhelming, try again tomorrow and view today as a wash. By allowing ourselves space to make mistakes and continuing to keep trying, we are demonstrating for our littles that it is absolutely okay to not be perfect. And for those who need reminding, it is okay to not be perfect.
Routine can help. - A routine is different from a schedule. A routine includes flexibility. It is not as rigid as a schedule. Flexibility provides opportunities for fun, spontaneity, and connection in the midst of the isolation that is often felt in motherhood. Routine provides stability and security for mothers and littles even when in the midst of chaos. Making the distinction between a schedule and a routine looks like this; instead of work 9:30am-11:30am, perhaps first outdoor play and then inside to work.
Be unconventional - An individual unique approach to parenting really works. This can be applied to many areas of life including relationships, education, etc. A change of perspective can really shift the experiences around us. When you notice yourself stuck in one mindset, try viewing the situation from a different lens and see what happens.
Less is more - This mantra can also apply to so many different areas of life and ties into the next tip too. A previous supervisor offered the wisdom "less said is best said." Think about how much time in the office is spent on work, or how much time in the classroom is solely spent on academics, or how much time in the home is actually spent on the floor playing with the kids. The answer is not as much as we like to think. If we allow ourselves and those around us, especially children, to relax, have fun, and play, then when it is time to actually work more work actually gets done. Take breaks. Focus on connection in tough times.
Set 3 most important tasks of the day - This applies to everyone in the home. What are the three most important things to complete today? Ideally, these MITs (most important tasks) are relatively quick tasks requiring less than an hour each. If there is a larger project needing completed, try breaking it down into small more manageable tasks. If nothing else happens in the day, except those 3 MIT's then the day was a success!
Schedule in YOU time - Maybe this time is spent scrolling social media, binge watching Netflix, taking a bubble bath, enjoying a nice drink with a partner, or it could be a basic as fitting in a nice long shower each day. Make this time a top priority, one of the day's 3 MITs. What would you do with this time?
You are not alone in the struggle to figure out when and how to wear each hat. Get to know all the hats, which ones you like and don't like, which ones come easy and which ones are tough. Maybe you are an excellent planner, maybe you are creative, maybe you are hardworking, focus on these strengths. No matter what hat you are wearing today, you are more resilient than you realize, and you can tackle the impossible today and again tomorrow.
- Mama Matters
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